Câți daruri trebuie să primească copiii?

Many parents and family members invest more effort, time, and money every year to make the little ones in the house become the true kings on January 6th, but can gifts have negative repercussions? How many gifts should a child receive? On the day of the Three Kings, a similar scene is reflected in most Spanish homes, with children opening a large number of gifts. For many children, this is one of the most anticipated days of the year, an event in which excitement, joy, and sometimes dissatisfaction or frustration, flood these homes. This day has become an event that has contributed to an excessive increase in consumerism, a struggle to turn the little ones into the „privileged” ones who have received an disproportionate number of gifts without stopping to think about the negative repercussions of this fact. On the other hand, there has been a notable change in the type of gifts that are „asked of the kings”. Currently, technological gifts are the most acclaimed by children, such as mobile phones, video game consoles, or tablets (Rowan, 2013). An important consideration for parents when choosing these types of gifts is to evaluate the amount of time the child spends on these devices. It is important to be aware of the extent to which this resource may be replacing time for other more important activities such as sleeping, reading, or socializing with other children and/or adults. In this way, it has been seen that prolonged exposure to electronic devices, due to the solitary nature of some of these toys, can lead to behavioral problems, sleep disorders, delayed development of social skills that can lead to isolation, sedentary lifestyle, and associated problems, among others (Cruz y Durán, 2020; Mas, 2020). The objective of these warnings is to prevent parents from using these devices correctly and under supervision, as they can have some educational benefits, as long as they do not displace other primary sources of enjoyment, recreation, and socialization (Cruz y Durán, 2020). How many gifts should children receive on the day of the Three Kings? Generally, the Three Kings are generous in most Spanish homes, but there are children who receive an disproportionate number of toys. Are they really lucky to receive so many gifts? Many specialists, including psychologists and pedagogues, consider that an excess of gifts has a series of negative consequences. First, when receiving an arsenal of gifts, the child does not have the ability to attend to each of them, which generates greater attentional dispersion (Cortés, 2016). In addition, emotional responses of frustration, guilt, and even tantrums have been observed as a result of not being able to play with each of the received toys (Tarrés, 2020). Likewise, Maite Vallet (Santos, 2014), a renowned Spanish pedagogue, affirms that if children repeatedly receive more toys than they can enjoy, they will lose the excitement associated with this type of situation. In addition, some of the described repercussions allude to greater immaturity, impoverished imagination, and an exacerbated materialistic insatiability, which can persist throughout development and adulthood in the form of constant dissatisfaction, since as children they did not learn to be frustrated by not getting everything they want, and they will have developed a low tolerance for frustration, which can extend to different areas of life (Centro Ertheo, 2018). In short, they will be constantly overstimulated children who have not learned to get bored or manage their time (Álava, 2015). Gifts should accompany children’s desires, not crush them. When gifts arrive all together, there is no possibility for desire to develop, because in order to desire in an adjusted manner, it is necessary to learn to accept that not everything can be obtained. The idea of the Three Kings or Santa Claus being able to bring everything just by asking for it is reminiscent of a childhood fantasy of omnipotent parents who can do anything. Not learning that not everything is possible and that desire has its limits can generate higher levels of frustration in adulthood in the face of limitations or problems in life (Esteban, 2017). On the other hand, another relevant issue is the increase in the value of current gifts. In this line, psychologist Alicia López de Fez (Santos, 2014) affirms that when the value of the presents is disproportionate to the age of the child, they can „anesthetize” or disconnect values such as austerity, causing the child to not learn to value the work and effort it takes to get things. So… What is the appropriate number of gifts? This is a frequent question that has generated constant debate for a long time. Generally, it is argued that the number of gifts should not exceed three or four. However, if there is a greater number, it is preferable that they be practical items such as school supplies, books, clothes, etc. (Veiga, 2017). How to control the quantity of gifts? To prevent the arrival of a true arsenal of gifts, parental intervention and control are required. This control requires the establishment of limits that should remain throughout the year, in the sense of, for example, linking the child’s good behavior to the achievement of some of the gifts included in the letter to the Three Kings. This way, it will be possible to contribute to the little ones appreciating the value of the toys received and to avoid consumerism. As a consequence, they will be able to understand at this time the reason why they cannot ask for and/or expect the complete catalog of toys. It is also important to bear in mind that, on many occasions, parents seek to show the child how important they are to them through the quantity of gifts, especially when during the year, due to the hectic day-to-day life, they do not spend enough time with them. Sometimes, this generates guilt in parents, who try to mitigate it by showing the children that, even if they do not spend much time with them, they are very important, and this demonstration is made through an excessive number of gifts on the day of the Three Kings. But as we can see, an excess of gifts is detrimental to the child’s development. The best option to show affection is to dedicate as much time as possible to them and engage in family activities, things that a gift can never replace (Herrero, 2017). To achieve the goal of not overwhelming children with gifts, the collaboration of parents or guardians is necessary in advance. The main problem today is the large quantities of gifts from other close figures (grandparents, uncles…) that often remain outside the knowledge and control of the parents (Caraballo, 2017). Tips for controlling the quantity of gifts Despite the foresight of parents, there are many variables that can interfere with this prior organization. For this reason, some of the tips for keeping control over the number of gifts children receive are as follows: – Write the letter to the Three Kings with the children: By doing this task together, parents will be able to explain to their children the reasons why they should discard some toys. It is also important to ask and help the child focus on what really excites them, this way a selection will be made and compulsive choices will be avoided. In addition, younger children will create realistic expectations about what they will find on Three Kings Day, which will prevent tantrums or tears for not having received what they expected. – Control gifts from other close people: It is necessary for parents to openly share the need to control the number of toys their children will receive on Three Kings Day to avoid the massive arrival of gifts. The goal is to reach an agreement with relatives and friends to prioritize the quality of the gifts over the quantity. – Dose the gifts when there are an excessive number: In many occasions, families do not have the means…